The Torture Never Stops
by Gianna Sparrow
Summary: Valkyrie goes to get fixed up by Kenspeckle but falls upon the curse of Clarabelle. Contains my own variation of "this little piggy went to market". And by the way, I have deleted the third chapter because it was awful and ruined the entire story.
1. God No, Please No, Make It Stop!

**Hi all! This my first fanfiction, so I hope you enjoy. **

**By the way, if you read this ****you have to reveiw. Weather you like it or not, the choice is not yours!**

**You don't even have to write anything, just rate it from one to one-hundred, you really don't have to write anything other than that number, unless you want comment… or something like that. **

**I really need to know how many people read this and what they thought of it, you understand, right?**

**Anyway…**

Yet again, Valkyrie had landed up at Kenspeckle's with major injuries from getting beaten up by a hoard of vampires.

Kenspeckle was giving her a long and stern lecture as usual.

"Valkyrie, how many times have I told you to be careful, how many times have I explained to you that one day I wouldn't be able to save you! One day you're going to show up here and there will be nothing I can do to help!

What if one of those _**monsters**_ managed to bite you!" yelled Kenspeckle in a way that made vampires sound repulsive.

He raged on like this for what felt like centuries in girl years, little did she know it was only twenty minutes.

Kenspeckle hadn't noticed but all this information was going through one of Valkyrie's ear and coming out the other.  
>Tanith had taught Valkyrie a valueble lesson that if that if theres someone you don't particularely like or someones saying some thing you don't want to hear just nod and say 'mmhm', "It works wonders." Were her exact words. Valkyrie was carefully applying this to the situation at hand.<p>

At the end of every three or four sentences of yelling, Valkyrie would nod and say "mmhm".

If he had been anyone else this would have been rather convincing, but Kenspeckle saw through it instantly.

He suddenly relised how pointless his yelling was. So he continued mending her many wounds.

Such as: a broken leg, a sprained wrist, a large slash in her arm, a cut in her cheek and some rather grotesque purple, blue and yellow bruises.

And for some wierd reason , Clarabelle was playing her own twisted version of 'This Little Piggie Went To Market' on Valkyrie's toes.

"This little piggie went on a suicide mission, and this little piggie should've stayed at home." said Clarabelle evily as she wriggled Valkyrie's toes.

"O…K." mumbled Valkyrie in an extremeily freaked out voice.

" This little piggie ate bacon," continued Clarabelle, wriggling Valkyries toes once again.

"and this little piggie had homacidal fun! And this little piggie cried "brains, brains." all the way home!" finished Clarabelle.

"Disturbing." said Valkyrie.

Kenspeckle just stared at Clarabelle for a full two minutes. Suddenly he lunged out and grabbed her while Valkyrie stared from her bed. He quickly dragged her to the bathroom and locked her in.

"Why did you lock me in here?" asked Clarabelle.

"Well you know that nice place we talked about." said Kenspeckle.

"Yes."

"With the nice people in white coats."

"Yeah."

"Well I'm going to call those nice people to take you to that nice, happy place."

At tha words 'happy place' Valkyrie started playing Katie Melua's 'A Happy Place' on her ipod at full blast. Valkyrie and Clarablle sang along to it while Kenspeckle looked as if he thought he should take Valkyrie to the so called 'happy place' as well.

"I'm going to find a happy oh-oh

I'm going to find a happy oh-oh

I'm going to find a happy place.

'Seven thosand eyed are watching

Marching home and no-ones touching

Army of the city workers

Secretaries, lawyers, brokers

Heading for a London station

Heading for quick salvation

Oblivious to cherry cola

Trying to sell to every stranger"

"Cherr cola?" asked Kenspeckle.

"Yep, cherry cola." replied Valkyrie.

"Okay, could you just stop with the song thing, it's madness!"

At the word 'madness' Valkyrie switched her ipod to Katy Melua's 'A Moment Of Madness' and her and Clarabelle started singing along again.

"Please no, God no! Make it stop! was all Kenspeckle managed to say before the torture started again.


	2. Evil Peal

**Hi, again!**

**By order of yours truly, Giana Sparrow, you **_**have to**___**review! As I said in the last chapter just rate it from 1 to 100, you don't have to do anything else but that, unless theirs something you want to say as well. Like if you wanted to say why you chose that particular number. At the last chapter I'm going to put all the ratings together and make an average of what people thought of it. (I like math.) And you have to review every chapter separately.**

**By the way I'm going to try make a long chapter to make up for the last one being so short. Really sorry about that, but at that exact part there just happened to be the perfect setting for a cliffhanger! (Cliffhangers happen to be the perfect way to force people to read the next chappie… he he hee! I'm clever aren't I.)**

"_Please no, God no, make it stop!" was all Kenspeckle managed to say before the torture started again._

"A moment of madness

It's happened before,

It could turn into sadness or a civil war

You've got me changing all I ever thought.

'When you first got so mad

Lost your rag

Trying to save some trees.

Angry cries, saw your thighs

And I fell to my knees

Oh my God what is this?

It's a moment of madness." The two girls sang, every word torture for the poor old man being forced to listen.

"God, Katie Melua's songs are sooo nerdy, and on top of it Valkyrie and Clarabelle are the worst singers I've ever heard in my life." thought Kenspeckle as they sang.

Suddenly Kenspeckle's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. "OMG, you're sending Clarabelle to a Mental Facility!"

Everyone heads turned to see Tanith hiding in the cupboard with her head poking out, including Clarabelle, who knocked the door down to see who it was. The door fell on top of Kenspeckle squishing him like a bug.

Hiding next to Tanith was Fletcher, filming everything going on.

"Ouch!" yelped Kenspeckle.

"_That's_ where you're sending me!" cried Clarabelle

"Oh God, this is rich! I am so putting this on youtube!" giggled Fletcher as he filmed.

"How much of that did you get on camera?" asked Valkyrie.

"Everything, right from when Clarabelle was playing psycho piggies on your toes!" laughed Fletcher while he and Tanith stepped out of the cupboard.

He had stopped filming now, no longer able to control himself, He'd become hysterical and was rolling around on the floor barely able to breath. Tanith was like an identical copy of him, also rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably. The two of them looked like a bunch of giggling girtsies.

"This is so embarrassing." said Valkyrie holding her face in her hands.

Kenspeckle had an idea. "Excuse me but I'm afraid I cannot allow you to put that tape on the internet." he said as he got up from under the door.

"Why on earth not?" asked Tanith.

"Well, what if one of Valkyrie's school friends or her parents had to see it. There'd be a whole lot of questions and none of them would be very easy to answer. We cannot afford exposing the magical community to mortals, now can we?" he said.

"Oh…right, I forgot." said Fletcher.

"Well, we can still show it to Skulduggery, Ghastly, China and Erskine Ravel. And there's nothing you can do to stop me!" yelled Tanith.

"Nooooo!" screamed Valkyrie.

"You wouldn't dare." said Kenspeckle

"Oh yes we would." said Fletcher

"I'll stop you before you can!" Valkyrie said determined.

"I think you're forgetting that you're lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg, a sprained wrist and various other injuries." said Fletcher.

"Darn it!" she cried.

"Where's Clarabelle?" asked Tanith.

Everyone's heads turned to where Clarabelle had been standing. As they did so they heard someone scream and the sound of something heavy falling on he floor. Everyone rushed out the door and into the hallway. At the other end of he hallway lay Clarabelle next to a banana peal, clutching a bloody and probably broken nose. Everybody ran over to help her up, except Valkyrie who was in a wheel chair and to be pushed by Kenspeckle. When they all reached her she yelled "That banana peal is _**evil **_I tell you! _**Evil!**_**"**

"I order you to assassinate that banana peal and then dispose of the body!" she cried once she'd been helped into a chair and Valkyrie had been helped into her bed. "You watch way too many movies." Valkyrie told her. "Just kill the banana peal already!" she whined.

While Tanith and Fletcher went to 'assassinate' the 'evil' banana peal, Kenspeckle bandaged Clarabelle's broken nose and finished mending Valkyrie's injuries. Once he'd done fixing them up, Valkyrie and Clarabelle both went to sleep.

Tanith and Fletcher returned after 'disposing of the evil banana peal's body' and left.

Valkyrie woke up the next day well rested. She got out of bed and hobbled into her wheel chair.

Once seated, she went looking for Kenspeckle. She found him reading the newspaper in the little room he used as a kitchen.

"Hi Kenspeckle!" she said.

"Good morning Valkyrie. You hungry?" he asked.

"Starving."

"I made pancakes for you."

"Yay!"

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mmhm."

Valkyrie sat down and began eating. She gulped down every bite of pancake like there was no tomorrow, finishing in less than three minutes.

"How did you eat that so fast?" asked Kenspeckle.

"I said I was starving." she replied.

"You know you're going to get the hiccups, right?"

"I am!"

"Yeah, you are. Don't you know not to eat things so fast?"

"No, no-one ever told me not to."

"Ooh, here they come in, 3, 2, 1, 0!"

"Hic. Hic. Hic. Hic! Ow, hic!"

"I told you…

"Hic!"

"…so."

Valkyrie's hiccups went on for another five minutes. A painful reminder not to eat so fast or there will be consequences.

Once she was finished with the hiccups and was able to speak again, they began chatting.

"Where's Clarabelle?" asked Valkyrie.

"Like I said, I sent her to 'a nice, happy place', but I think we both know I meant the Mental Facility." he answered.

"You know you just lost another assistant."

"I know, but I shouldn't have hired her in the first place. She was in no state to work, and this job only makes you crazier."

"I think you should go get her back."

"Absolutely not, I can always visit her and I'm perfectly capable of running this my self, thank you."

"Stop fooling yourself, old man."

"Don't speak to me like that."

"Whatever."

After their not so long and hard argument/conversation about Clarabelle they had to come up with a way to explain Valkyrie's absents and why she looked like a train wreck to her parents.

"Maybe you could tell them you got beat up by a bully at school?" suggested Kenspeckle.

"Nope, can't do that, they'd want to speak to the kids parents and also no-one looks this bad when they get beat up by a bully."

"You could say you fell out a tree!"

"I'm not five, I don't climb trees and the only tree in the area that's tall enough to do this doesn't have anything to grab on to while you climb. It's _really_ flat"

"Oh, well then just tell them you got beaten up by a street gang and had to be rushed to hospital."

"Perfect!"

Kenspeckle called Skulduggery to take her home. While they waited he and Valkyrie played go-fish with an old deck of cards Valkyrie had found. Skulduggery arrived on an unholy seen of Kenspeckle lying on the floor, crying.

"Kenspeckle, why are you crying?" he asked.

"Go away!" he replied.

"Valkyrie, why is he crying on the floor?"

"I beat him at go-fish."

"Oh."

Skulduggery helped Valkyrie into the Bentley and they drove to Valkyrie's house.

"You look really messed up." Skulduggery said as he drove.

"Tell me about it."

"How did you manage that?"

"Vampire fight."

"Oh, I see."

The rest of the drive was silent. Skulduggery dropped her off at the pier and waved goodbye and drove off.

Valkyrie wheeled herself the rest of the way home. She rang the doorbell and her mother let her in.

"Stephanie, where have you… what happened to you!" she cried.

Valkyrie went with the plan. "I got beat up by a street gang, luckily someone found me and called the ambulance."

"We were worried sick! Oh my poor baby! You must be starving!"

"No, I'm fine. They gave me food at the hospital."

"But hospital food is disgusting! How did you eat it and survive!" came her father's voice. He was now standing next to her mom.

"It's miracle! And really, I'm fine. I just need to rest."

"Des, help her to her room." said her mom.

"Yes honey."

"So you got beat up by a street gang, right." asked her dad.

"Yeah." Valkyrie answered.

"Did they take your money or your cell phone or what?"

"They just took my money. They left my phone."

"Good, now I won't have to buy you a new one."

"You're worrying about having to buy me a new phone when I almost got killed!"

"Cell phones are important, and expensive." he said as they reached her room.

"You are so weird."

He helped her onto her bed asked if she needed anything.

"Well, I would like a glass of water…"

"Coming right up." he said as he went to fetch it for her.

He returned with the glass of water and waited for her to gulp it down. When she was finished he took the cup back to the kitchen.

"Call if you need anything else." he said as he closed her door.

He left her in peace and she fell asleep. She dreamt of the 'evil banana peal' rising from the trash can and coming for revenge on Tanith and Fletcher. It was the funniest dream she'd had in ages.

**I hope you enjoyed that, it really made for the last chappie being tiny. The next chapter will be Clarabelle's point of view. I'm not giving anymore information or that would ruin it. Remember you have to review. Just rate it. PLEASE!**


	3. Authors Note

**A/N: This story will never be completed. I have given up on it. I came up with a really far more awesome idea that I had to use before it slipped away from me like all my other awesome ideas. Sorry.**


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